I know we all want to have secure and confident children. But what if your child is not naturally confident? Can you help build their confidence? Or is your child destined to be insecure, and have very little self confidence their entire life?
There are several different approaches to building a child's confidence. The problem is, not all of the approaches are lasting.
One approach is to lift your child up… constantly. This approach will build your child’s confidence, but the problem comes when you child fails at something you told them to do. This crushes their confidence in themselves AND you. They will have a hard time believing you the next time you tell them, they are the best.
Am I saying that you should not praise and lift up you child? Absolutely not! But, you have to couple your praise with action. Your child needs to accomplish something.
But we still need to be careful. If you are constantly setting up things for them to accomplish that is extremely easy, you will find yourself in the same scenario as earlier.
To genuinely build a child’s confidence, you must help them to create goals and inspire them to meet those goals. All the while praising and lifting them up as they meet those goals. It is in this situation, where a child accomplishes something and you as the parent praise them for it, where they will build real life long confidence.
This is why I believe the martial arts is one of the best confidence builders out there. The belt system is a built in confidence builder. You have an ultimate goal, black belt and beyond, and that is broken up into many smaller goals with the colored belts, and then even smaller with each stripe. Meanwhile, moving from white belt to black belt, you never compete with anyone but yourself. Sure you have the opportunity to compete at tournaments, but tournaments do not effect your ability to earn belts.
In the martial arts, there is always another goal in front of you that you are working to reach. Once you start meeting and passing your goals, you can’t help but become a more confident person.
This is just one more reason I love the martial arts.